nobody cares

Currently working, playing, and arting it up in London.

where's my heart

I feel all alone on this thing. It was expected - I've always been the one who's stuck steadfastly to the responsibility of a role that's not all together important, that is there to have made us feel like we were still all connected. It happened after highschool with livejournal, it happens now with study abroad. Perhaps you can talk about the superficiality of internet reportage, but I think it's handy. It's comforting. And it's interesting. And for me, it's calming.

So most of the reason that I'm alone here is that you all have gone home. Back to the states. And you all have jobs and internships and plans for the long summer ahead, or rather, the regular-length summer. I am more surprised that you lot have all gone home than the fact that I am still here for over a month.

To tell you the truth, it feels a bit lonely out here, out in the world, when you are all seeing each other and family and trying to sum up your entire experience in a coffee shop conversation. You're all going to work and I still feel like I'm frolicking. I'm still playing while everybody else is working. I feel guilty and thankful at the same time.

What a strange feeling, that my life has been put on hold for just that little bit longer...

london spending.

Nothing like a little retail therapy to calm down your nerves and then make you feel incredibly guilty for spending all your past summer savings.

where are we?

So my calendar is full.

This upcoming week I have items scribbled in pen for every weekday. None of them include sitting in the grass to write a novel, seeing any art show, or going to any other place in England.

I have an excuse for each and every one. It has been raining and cold, all I do is think about art all day, and I'm waiting for a sunny weekend and people to go with.

It's not like my calendar is shoddy. It includes a seminar, a meeting with the teacher to talk about the research I'm doing for him, two stints at the Eagle gallery, a birthday celebration, X-Men 3, charity shop shopping, several episodes of the OC, and a Neko Case show at the renowned Shepherd's Bush Empire.

What is the point of this Kristina you may ask. Out of all of these evcents, all of them involve other people. Is this a problem? No, except all of them are going to disappear (except for the Eagle stints) at the latest on June 20. Because this is when everybody goes home, and I'll be hanging out here until July 1. How is my character? I suppose I'll find out in these 10 or so days of being alone, truly alone, in London. I'm actually fairly certain that I will be able to fill up these days. But the realization that there will be nobody around, absolutely nobody, is a bit frightening. Oh, the Brits will still be around, but off in their respective outside-London cities.

This is why, from June 20 on, TimeOut.com will be my best friend.

Today Pele was in London. I forgot to go see him.

All I think about is creating all day, imagining where my story is going to go, imagining canvases and drawing in my mind, but as for the creating bit, it stays in my head all day long. Rarely does it ever crawl its way out.

Help?

Imogen Heap "Hide and Seek"

time capsule

a sunny day, wednesday, may 10

1. waltz #2 - elliott smith
2. breathe - the silent league
3. turn into - yeah yeah yeahs
4. intimate secretary - the raconteurs
5. recommendation - mirah
6. pledge of allegiance - brendan benson
7. dog on wheels - belle & sebastian

If only those sunny days would come again.

i am your road agent.

I realize that for many people study abroad time is over or it's about to be over. This is pretty strange because if some people's are ending, then mine isn't so far off. Today when I parted with Maura and Clara, we realized that September wasn't actually so far away. It's not even far enough away to have a weird romance, like a May-December romance. A May-September romance may turn a few heads, but nobody is going to make a big tabloid thing out of it like Demi and Ashton, so really, it's not that big a deal. It's a Katie-Tom thing, maybe. Some people think about the age difference, but nobody cares. They just care because Tom Cruise is crazy. Anyway, it seems pretty sad that my time might be up, although I am excited for every next aspect in my life. Mostly I'm sad because my time here is going SO FAST! SOQUICK!

The city also tends to perk up at any hints of sunshine. Seriously, after the first day of real warmth and sunshine (Thursday, May 4), London was all, like, totally, 'HEY, LET'S DO SOMETHING COOL EVERY SINGLE DAY.' This city contains too much coolness for me to even possibly comprehend. There are always events going on in museums and bookstores, in parks and neighborhoods, in the skies, on the water. Yesterday there was some sort of guard brigade parade thing that Prince Harry was at in Hyde Park. We were in Hyde Park today, not yesterday. It's so easy to miss something, yet there is always something going on. It's frustrating, but also exhilarating in the fact that it did happen. It is possible.

Apparently, the Kristinacas Fongithikium tends to perk up at any hints of sunshine and schedule. Pencil me in, because I'll be happy to be there. Having obligation, feeling like you're needed for something or that you're living for something, is something I need. I hate getting stressed. I love getting stressed.

I don't know how to do this entry. I have done so much in the past couple of weeks.

One: I have an internship at the Eagle Gallery in Clerkenwell. It is a tiny gallery, run mostly by one woman who founded it fifteen years ago and has run it ever since. It represents about 15 artists (mostly painters and printmakers) and she coordinates rotating shows and collaborative shows. She is smart and efficient and chill.

Two: I am helping out a teacher/painter at Goldsmiths with a lecture he is doing at Sotheby's in New York in June. It's a simple task with a relatively large time commitment. The lecture topic is on contemporary British painters and he gave me a list of about 40 I have to acquire recent high quality jpegs for and stick in a nice looking powerpoint. Sounds easy. Sounds like Google images. No, sounds more like tracking down which artists are represented by what galleries and emailing them. I'm not complaining. I never mind "grunt work" if I'm learning anything, and I think I can learn something from almost anything I'm thrown into like this. I've come across several amazing artists and again, I matter. I'm making a difference. My choice in paintings and my powerpoint is going to be in this guys lecture. I like it. This is a painting by Richard Pattersonn. I love it.

Three: London events. A short list: The Sultan's Elephant (the giant elephant on Piccadilly Street in this picture): where London turned into Disneyland. Maybe I'll write more about that later - it was awe-inspiring. Fireworks over Waterloo Bridge on Saturday Night. Why? Nobody knows. Maura & Clara visit (we love the sunshine on Portobello Road in the picture.) The 'gruffalo' visits Waterstones bookstore and we try to meet him, but we don't find him. There is a huge New Years celebration on Brick Lane. Covent Garden finally turns into the Covent Garden of legends: street performers and large crowds everywhere.

Four: I MET NICK HORNBY TONIGHT.

Five: I MET NICK HORNBY TONIGHT. HE SIGNED MY BOOK.

Six: As for the entry before the Henry VIII entry, I really did get my hair cut. For 4.50. In front of a group of Japanese students. While the teacher narrated. And the translator translated. And I stood up and they clapped. And then they all took pictures of me.

Seven: BluePlaque.com - We spotted this particular plaque near Piccadilly Circus. I also found the "Nancy Steps" near London Bridge. I continue to firmly believe that London is some type of story land. Any city that has markers for fictional characters is my kind of city. (Including the magical Platform 9 3/4 at King's Cross Station...)

OKAY I'm DONE I SWEAR. GOSH, THAT WAS BORING. OH, I FINALLY STARTED WRITING A STORY.

it certainly took long enough. so much for the novel and oh so much for the city.

sidenote: henry viii.

So far this is all I have in terms of Henry VIII photos. I need to catch up. I love this man. In a horrible way.

firstly, to little dan, and secondly, to jesse.

I finally had the guts and went to get my first hair cut in LONDON. I had lots of options to choose from...the LONDON HIPSTER CUT 1, the LONDON HIPSTER CUT 2, the LONDON HIPSTER CUT 3, etc. After long consideration...I chose to get none of the above, instead opting for the safer, albeit less exciting, LONDON HIPSTER CUT 4. It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought either. The fellow was super ITALIAN and the hair cut was high quality...and cheap (4.50 QUID). The before and after contrast is pretty impressive, there are pictures up HERE EVEN if you're NOT interested.


With all my love to Jesse and Lil' Dan,
Kristina

If nobody gets this, I'll seem a proper twat.

dear diary part 1

Dear Diary,
These are things I will miss about London, part 1. These feelings have felt particularly pointed in the last week. I have been busier than I have ever been here before and it's hectic but it makes me feel more like part of the inner workings of the city. Besides, it's May, and like I said before, the city is blossoming. All the good bands are in town, all the pre-summer art shows are pulling out all the flash whiz bang, and all the special park happenings are, well, happening.

Here is a partial list:
1. I hadn't heard a musician on the Tube for over a month - where had all the buskers gone? Do they disappear from the tunnels when the sun shines? Apparently so - because on the first day of rain in a while, I saw one - and I had forgotten all about their sort.
2. Walking a lot. This is probably the biggest thing in the world that I'll miss - walking everywhere. Because I love walking in the city, even if it's on a rainy Saturday afternoon near the financial district and nobody else is out and it's eerie. I like it. Somebody asked me, 'What do you do in London?' He expected the answer, 'I'm studying here for a term' but because the question was so odd I said, 'I walk around a lot.' He looked confused.
3. Reading the Metro over people's shoulders on the Tube because I never leave early enough to get one. I like it when people are reading the METROGOSS section, the clever title for the Metro's Gossip page.
4. White, balding, rather unattractive, slightly pudgy men intensely reading the sporting section on the Tube. Every single word including the tables and stats.
5. The visual of the rise of Arsenal jerseys worn about London on game day.
6. People talking about football everywhere you go.
7. Hearing people talk in different languages everytime you take the Tube.
8. People being ridiculously jolly on warm, sunny days.
9. London dogs + Hyde Park, Hampstead Heath, or any large green area.
10. La vie.

Love,
Kristina

the centipede that broke the camels back

It's 10 in the morning on a not so particularly beautiful London day, though the sun has shown itself more in the past 2 minutes and gets increasingly brighter as I write these words. Serves me rightg. It's 10 in the morning on an unstable London day and all I can think to do is sit here with a blanket on my head although there are happenings! in London and photography! to see and books to read! about this gigantic thesis paper I'm going to write in the next month and art shows to see! in preparation for this paper and art catalogues to scan pictures from! for my collaboration with a teacher/artist. So what am I doing here sitting in my room in front of the computer with a blanket on my head?

Oh, you forget, all of you, that you live in beween visiting far and away places, between going to classes. You forget that you live inbetween getting drunk and high and that there is more space between your most exciting Europe and abroad experiences and between the cultural handshakes you've reached to make. You forget that there are times when all you want to do is lay in your bed, stare up at your ceiling, and think intensely about what the future is going to be like.

so it goes.

I just finished watching 'Donnie Darko' for the first time. It is not a very good movie. I also found out that Belle & Sebastian were playing at Trafalgar Square yesterday. Although it isn't bad news, I would call it bad news because I didn't know in advance and didn't get to go see them play. This is called selfishness and we've all got it, folks.