where's my heart

I feel all alone on this thing. It was expected - I've always been the one who's stuck steadfastly to the responsibility of a role that's not all together important, that is there to have made us feel like we were still all connected. It happened after highschool with livejournal, it happens now with study abroad. Perhaps you can talk about the superficiality of internet reportage, but I think it's handy. It's comforting. And it's interesting. And for me, it's calming.

So most of the reason that I'm alone here is that you all have gone home. Back to the states. And you all have jobs and internships and plans for the long summer ahead, or rather, the regular-length summer. I am more surprised that you lot have all gone home than the fact that I am still here for over a month.

To tell you the truth, it feels a bit lonely out here, out in the world, when you are all seeing each other and family and trying to sum up your entire experience in a coffee shop conversation. You're all going to work and I still feel like I'm frolicking. I'm still playing while everybody else is working. I feel guilty and thankful at the same time.

What a strange feeling, that my life has been put on hold for just that little bit longer...